So I was inspired to write today’s entry because of a video I just made.
Over the last 2 years, I’ve slowly noticed my hair thinning out.
It’s something my sisters Shanti and Kanti bless them have struggled with for several years.
For women, the social and psychological impact it has can be somewhat devastating. Especially for women like my sisters who train hard and really take time to try and take care of their appearance.
There’s a specific condition that they told me they suffer from which I forget what it is now. Although on the basis of a photo I’ve just sent to a friend of mine – it looks like I might suffer from the same condition as well.
My sisters are around 11 years older than me, and I’ve not seen what their hair looks like when it isn’t ‘done up’, but they say that it looks pretty devastating.
Well, my hair is thinning out on top massively, and I suspect it has been for 5-7 years. My saving grace is that I’m 6ft 1.5 inches so I’m taller than most of the people I walk amongst.
And that is because I work remotely – most of my time is spent alone in front of a computer screen as I am now, so things like this can go unnoticed.
But as I begin to do more videos for work, catch the line shining down at me from a lightbulb of daylight into a mirror – my hair thinning out is becoming more and more prominent.
Several of my family members have noticed it – and it’s significant enough for me to write a blog post about it.
I’ve always kept my hair short as so:
This was actually 5-7 years ago so isn’t an accurate rendition of my hair loss today,.
Here I’ve got a healthy head of short hair, and there’s nothing much to say about it.
However, currently, or most recently during Covid-19, I decided to grow my hair out in the hopes of having a ponytail.
I’m now wondering (and I’ll need to ask a barber I guess to really know) – whether that’s totally unrealistic.
Having recently read ‘Open’ by Andre Agassi – one of the things he talks about as well is his hair loss.
He was known for long, luxurious, and wild hair that became a part of his brand. And then over the years, as his hair fell out, he did his best to hide it with combovers, wigs, and the like until he embraced it.
Conversely, I’ve got my friend Craig Campbell who is taking the other approach and had a hair transplant in Scotland, and it’s completely given him a new and healthy head of hair.
That’s the other possibility that is open to me. However, my gut feels that that might be too invasive and that maybe I’d rather just live as a shaven-headed man.
Anyway, it’s about time I revealed the best –
So this is a photo of me literally right now – 13 days after my 34th birthday.
From this pixelated photo taken from my Macbook Pro I definitely don’t have anything to worry about. And again with my fortunate height, it means for the most part – if you take into account that someone needs to probably be 6ft 3 inches to really notice my head OR I need to be sat down, laying down, or leaning over to get a good shot at it.
You’re not really going to notice much are you?
Now let me lean over and let’s try again:
That probably doesn’t look too bad at all does it, ha!
Let me show you the picture I sent to Salim (my business partner for a new venture http://plantsumo.com which I’ll share in another post) yesterday:
It’s difficult to share these pictures because I’m looking at it and I’m like ‘holy shit my hair is literally falling out day by day’.
It’s not a good look at all, and Salim laughed and said I need to take a trip to Turkey.
Regardless, having my hair fall out is making me aware of my age.
34, isn’t so young anymore, and I’ve also got the grey hairs to match it lol
Hang on, I’ve just snapped another picture from my phone so you can take a look:
This one is more difficult to tell perhaps – but I’ve got grey/white hairs sprouting all over the goddamn place.
As I’ve been writing this, I’ve been half thinking ‘Why the f*ck are you telling everyone about this anyway? What the hell do they care?’
I think the answer to that question is that ‘I don’t know if you do care at all to be honest, and whether this piece will be something a little more forgettable than the other stuff I’ve written’.
But for the first time, my age and evidence of me ‘growing older’ is becoming apparent. And part of me is struggling with it.
I’ve had various conversations with my buddy Amir (American-Iranian, the early 40s, one kid, living in the States) – and he’s talked about his thinning hair and said (quite rightly) –
‘I wouldn’t worry Deepak, you’re a good-looking dude and you’re in a happy relationship so it’s no problem’
Logically it isn’t, but at some level, I’m not comfortable with it. As I try and grow my hair out longer, the greys become way more noticeable of course.
Daniela even bought me some spray-on black hair dye from Revlon or something from Savers.
I sprayed it (I’ll need to find the bottle) on all of my greys across my head, and it really did make a difference to how I looked.
I was like ‘yo dude you look damn younger man!’.
Of course, I didn’t fully appreciate that it rubs out with sweat and water and I had ‘dye marks’ on my ears as well as the pillows I slept upon by the time I woke up the next morning.
Age, when it becomes a visible thing, is fascinating to me.
It’s really making me understand the passing of time, and what with Daniela’s parents in their 70s, my parents in their 60s, and hearing from my friend Luc who just came from his folks’ place in Switzerland for the holidays in their 70s also.
This morning he told me his dad took him for a walk and gave him a breakdown of what to do with his sister Rachel and the rest of his affairs should he pass.
It’s difficult to even write about this because it makes me recognize the fragility of life as well as its strength – and as time passes and my age catches up with me – I reflect upon, well, going bald (lol), going grey and the rest that will follow.
I definitely am entering a new stage of my life now and Daniela being away (6 weeks in Italy) for the summer whilst I’m at the flat by myself has given me more room to write and reflect and really think about things.
As much as I can (and in writing this I think this is part of it), I don’t want to waste a minute, I want to make the most of the time I have and also….
Maybe, just maybe – I’ll do what my brother does and buy some dye for my hair so that I can at least visually look younger than I actually am.
Or who knows, maybe at some point I’ll just go back to keeping my hair cut short.
But let us focus on the positives.
I feel good.
And it’s good to be bald. It shows that you’ve already lived one life – as I migrate into my next one!
And so I end with a smile about the most ridiculous post I’ve written and my thin-haired, grey-scalped vulnerability.
Until the next time my friend 🙂