So right now I’m sitting in McDonald’s finding every reason under the sun to not write content – on a daily basis like I intended.
I think the last time that I wrote any content might have been on Thursday or Friday last week and since then I’ve not written anything.
I’m fully into the thing that Stephen Pressfield calls ‘The Resistance’.
Fascinating it is, because my mind/my soul is teeming with reasons to not write right now.
Things I need to do, more productive ways to spend my time, me sat here in McDonald’s (only place that opens at 6am near me) – wondering what is the point of all of this
I sent my writing coach a message yesterday and managed to suck him into my resistance as well.
I told him I’d be switching away from the Medium journey he’s taking me on with publishing my content (since he’s got 6-months of it loaded up) and focus upon writing for my blog instead.
He said that’s fine – yet I didn’t write yesterday either.
That’s the problem of being able to provide ‘clear and logical arguments’ to not do stuff – it’s easy (enough) to get others to collude in your limits that you place upon yourself.
I’m calling you out Chris – don’t accept my BS please!
Another BS example – right now there’s 12% battery remaining on my Macbook and I was very close to using this as a reason to leave:
And then my mind was racing with thoughts related to work, things I need to do, clients that need my attention and all of the rest of it.
All the while I thought ‘man – 2,500 words about some nonsense that I’m not sure anyone will read – what’s the point?’
I was even considering switching to writing something shorter-form on Quora.
All of these thoughts swirled around my head over the last 5 minutes before I thought ‘fuck it’ just stop being a little b*tch and write.
Write about something, write about anything.
Some words are better than no words at this point.
It’s like what James Clear talks about in Atomic Habits – maintaining momentum and consistency is WAY more important than trying to hit the ‘allotted goal’ every day
No one does that. Who does that?
I guess with this journey that I’m on (and again I hear ‘The Resistance’ creeping in – telling me that ‘dude there are people that write their first book and have a bestseller – that start a blog and do so with strategic intent – wtf are you doing!)….
And now my thoughts running parallel to my intention to write have corrupted my very thoughts
The Resistance doesn’t have a voice, it has a deep dark feeling that what I’m doing is an absolute waste of time – and that feeling is so deadly. It’s very overpowering.
Getting these words out is happening with such herculean effort from me.
It’s funny that isn’t it?
Funny how sometimes somethings can feel so effortless – and other times it feels like you’re pulling blood from a stone
That was how I felt when trying to decipher the ‘story’ I would tell through my blog today.
I stopped writing on my blog a couple of months ago and today is my first day back at it and my oh my it’s a weird ass (and resistance led feeling).
Much has changed since I was last in touch with you guys – and I guess that’s cool.
Here are my last publishing dates.
It’s been over 16-weeks since I’ve added anything new to the blog – which is a travesty really.
But maybe that’s the nature of writing and the process of indeed anything that we do in general – we do it in fits and starts.
That kind of reminds me that my website is kind of out of date.
I’ve got Chris, Valentina, Nick, Craig, Paul and potentially Jaydip as well – 6 different people I’m seeking advice and training from in a bid to progress with my life.
That’s certainly new. Back on June 22nd when I wrote my last blog – there was none of those people – but now I’m more committed to trying to help myself achieve new heights.
I’m definitely missing a trick when it comes to the money I’m making.
That reminds me – I’m launching several SaaS products – and >
I interrupt this message for a small ‘public service announcement’:
I’ve finally had the message come in and let’s now take another look at my battery:
Getting close to 1% but we’re NOT there yet. 🙂
The SaaS thing doesn’t matter to me right now – what matters is that ‘The Resistance’ feels much quieter within me now.
Still present – but I kind of feel like I gave it a beating.
It’s amazing what writing when you’re starting on 12% battery can do for you.
I mean I’m up to 850 words and really it could be complete drivel but it seems what Stephen Pressfield says is true
The most important thing is that you write everyday – and that’s what professionals do
Noah (one of my content team – yes that’s new as well – I have a content team) and Chris (my writing coach) are slowly working through the first draft of my novel that I’ve written – I must get back to that when they’re done.
Conceivably I could get to that now – but I think it’s the whole ‘Resistance’ thing.
I need to find dudes that are tougher than me with writing, mentally and all of the rest and find a way to spend more time around them.
I realise I’m amongst the most committed people I know and I need to find people way more committed than myself and that’ll only help me elevate.
That reminds me – Jason Fischman I think his name is – I went onto his podcast and I was super impressed with the guy.
He interviewed me but I thought hey – here’s a REALLY smart dude that I can learn from – I think I’m going to reach out to him.
Wow – hey you Mr Resistance!!!!
I haven’t checked the word count since I wrote 850 but I’m pretty sure I’ve cleared the 1,000 words mark and that I’ve managed to do it with (now) 3% battery.
Gosh – isn’t it amazing what some pressure can do.
I need to also do more things like this
When I felt the resistance at its height it felt like time slowed down and that I was going to be here forever.
In reality it lasted like 10 minutes!
10 minutes! Gosh….
It’s also amazing how easy it is to break a man haha
That 10 minutes felt like it was a whole hour.
Our brains are beautiful yet deceitful creatures.
Time doesn’t change yet our perception of i can COMPLETELY skew when you feel the resistance Versus when you’re feeling good.
Right now I’m trying to write until the battery on this old bad boy runs out.
I know it’s coming.
Yesterday I sat in McDonald’s from 6am to 830am and was so engrossed in my work that I only left when I got kicked out of the place.
There’s no danger of this now lol.
I’m feeling like I’m on an emotional roller coaster-write now and it’s being manifested through this stream of consciousness that’s pouring out of me in a bid to ‘get the words in’.
I’m thinking all sorts of things and wish I could communicate the feeling of my feeling (if that makes any sense).
Amazing you’re here with me. Amazing you’re reading this.
Amazing we’re on this journey together.
I don’t know how you found me, and I don’t know how much of my work you’ve read.
But I do love writing and I’ve wasted basically all from time from 22 to 33 not writing much if anything at all.
Definitely not on a consistent basis that I could track and measure over time.
That’s why writing (even if it’s nonsense and non-tactical – or is it?) on days like this is so important.
My memory is rubbish so it’ll be blogs like this in the years to come that I’ll look to to serve as a ‘point in time’ – as a ‘moment of historical record’.
This is how I felt on the 27th October at 754am.
Right as you can see – I’m on 1%.
Hopefully I’ll get these words out before my Macbook dies.
(I didn’t – I’m in another Cafe now with an Earl Grey and 2 toast):
But I am – at this stage wrapping up this blog – I hope the first of many before another break comes.
Catch you on the other side 😛